Do Mormon Men Use the Priesthood to Control Women?

Question: Do Mormon Men Use the Priesthood to Control Women?

Does the patriarchal order mean anything or is it just an excuse some Mormon men use to control their wives? Do Mormon men use the priesthood to control women?

Answer: In the Encyclopedia of Mormonism we read:

"The patriarchal order is, in the words of Elder James E. Talmage, a condition where 'woman shares with man the blessings of the Priesthood,' where husband and wife minister, 'seeing and understanding alike, and cooperating to the full in the government of their family kingdom' (Young Woman's Journal 25 [Oct. 1914]:602-603). A man cannot hold this priesthood without a wife, and a woman cannot share the blessings of this priesthood without a husband, sealed in the temple."¹

Worthy men can receive and hold the priesthood during this life, but cannot in the next life without a wife to whom he has been sealed in the temple. That man must continue to be righteous and obedient to God's laws which includes loving and respecting all women, especially his wife.

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners" (1995, paragraph seven).

Neither the priesthood or the patriarchal order sets a man above a women, including his wife; it puts a man at the head of the family unit. Any man who somehow uses the priesthood to "control" his wife, or to justify any form of abuse or manipulation, is in jeopardy of losing his priesthood unless he repents.

Elder Dean L. Larsen said:

"The patriarchal system provides a basis for government in the kingdom of God. It places parents in a position of accountability for their own direct family, and it links these family kingdoms in a patriarchal order that lends cohesiveness to the greater kingdom of God of which they are a part. The patriarchal order has no relevance in the eternal worlds except for those husbands and wives and families who have entered into the covenant of eternal marriage.

"The Lord has explained, regarding those who do not make these covenants and abide by them, 'For these... did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity.' (D&C 132:17)."²

Men who unrighteously use the priesthood or the patriarchal order to get their way, or to force their wives, children, or others to do anything by virtue of the priesthood, are exercising what is called "unrighteous dominion"³, which is against the gospel of Jesus Christ and teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

For additional information regarding the patriarchal order see the references below⁴, and the FAQ's, "Are Mormon Women Oppressed?" and "Should Mormon Women Tolerate Abuse?"

Notes
1. Mckinlay, Lynn A. "Patriarchal Order of the Priesthood." Encyclopedia of Mormonism. By Daniel H. Ludlow. New York: Macmillan, 1992. 1067.
2. Elder Dean L. Larsen, "Marriage and the Patriarchal Order," Ensign, Sep 1982, 6.
3. See D&C 121:39-46.
4. Also see: Brent A. Barlow, "Strengthening the Patriarchal Order in the Home," Ensign, Feb. 1973, 29.