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Over the next few weeks they visited us. It was humid and I want so much to have them in the house. But, as a single parent, I cannot have them unsupervised in the house. For some reason it doesn't bother me. Do I already know that is the policy? Maybe. Reading the assigned passages has now become a chore. Not because it was boring or uninteresting. It is my life as a working mom. Out of the blue I get really busy. The only thing about single parenting is when a job must be done survival comes first. The bug in my head keeps whispering to me, just don't give up. Then a question comes up about Baptism for my daughter and I. Well, as a child I was baptized. I never had my children set foot in a church most of their lives. Now, these people want to baptize me. Why was I hesitating? I just need to tell them to travel on to another. But, I can't. My heart swells and my eyes fill. Yes, that's the reason I need them. This is exactly what they had and I need back. I need life, direction and love.
As a child I had almost drowned and was saved by a man. Many ask if I remember and I would always answer "no". After all these years, I would never tell anyone about the last words that he whispered to me as he got me closer to shore, "When you wake up everything will be alright." I have never shared this with anyone because of me he drowned. I never knew his name just his voice. When I accepted a baptism date it was that voice which soothes me.
I realize now that I do recall the messengers that day. Not the missionaries, but the message they had for me. I recall because again I feel the calm of salvation, the dissipation of my fears, the strong arms of protection around me and the unconditional love of a man who sacrificed his life for my salvation. However, this sacrifice was much greater. The sacrifice of the firstborn for the salvation of all mankind.
I have traveled so far in this past year. I have thrown in the towel so many times. I will never be the same as I was before. I will never return. There are many habits I still struggle with but that's okay. Because once again I was drowning then a gentle man who whispered in my ear, "When you wake up everything will be alright" and saved me.
I stretch my muscles, yawn abit and then I woke up.
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