More of this Feature • Page 1: Rats?

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I began screaming, "Hermana! Hermana!" while dancing around the room, my arm outstretched as far from my body as it could reach. The terrified rat hung as if dead, its paws curled up in a fetal position. A foul smell wafted upwards, causing me to wrinkle my nose.

"I know! The machete!" I yelled, sending my companion scurrying for the sharp, two foot-long blade.

"Wait," I hollered after her, "my camera! Give me the machete, I have to get a picture of this." I stepped out onto the front porch while Hermana Chelson found my camera and took a snapshot of me with the rat dangling from my right hand and the machete in my left.

We then ran outside laughing and screaming, our cries drawing the natives' attention. I felt their eyes on the back of my neck, like the sun's burning rays, as they watched the antics of us crazy Americans.

"Okay, I'll stand opposite the house and when I place the rat on the ground you whack it on the head," I said, giving my companion the machete. I bent down and as the rat's feet touched the sandy floor its frozen panic thawed. It tried to run towards the open space under our house but unfortunately for the rat I still held on tightly to its tail, never loosening a muscle.

Hermana Chelson turned the machete's dull side down and deftly gave two whacks to the rat's head, instantly killing it. The deadly thud echoed in my ears. The rat's eyes went dull, like the edge of the knife that took its life. Because there was only one place for our garbage to go, along with everyone's waste, we chucked it into the sea.

The first time I told that story one of the listeners asked me, "Weren't you afraid the rat would climb up its tail and bite you?" What!? Climb up its tail and bite me? I didn't know rats could do that! Instant horror crawled up my spine. If I had known that I never would have picked up that rat. My ignorance was immediately replaced with dismay. Thankfully the rat had either been too stunned to act or the Lord was protecting me from my own stupidity.

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