How Do You Raise Teens to be Modest in an Immodest World?
Saturday May 3, 2008
How do you raise teenagers, especially girls, to understand the importance of modesty when everything around them teaches them otherwise? I had a site visitor email me for help and I was able to offer some, but feel I am lacking in this area as my own daughter is only seven and I haven't yet had any problems with this principle.
There are some great resources both in and out of the LDS Church to help us teach about modesty, but how can you help the youth to really accept and embrace this important yet often difficult standard? Some of the resources I've found online include Jenmagazine.com, an online magazine run by a young Latter-day Saint woman that has some good articles on how we can be modest AND fashionable. I especially liked the article, "No, Really - It's a Good Thing!"
Another great resource is the Gospel Principles section for modesty at LDS.org, including the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet that teaches about appropriate dress and appearance. (Note: You can get a free copy of this pamphlet from your local ward/stake or online from the LDS Distribution Center. Do a search for item number 36550000 and they'll ship it to you for free.)
But what else is there to help parents who struggle with teaching modesty to their children? Please share your ideas, resources, thoughts, and experiences with us in the comments, we really need your help!
There are some great resources both in and out of the LDS Church to help us teach about modesty, but how can you help the youth to really accept and embrace this important yet often difficult standard? Some of the resources I've found online include Jenmagazine.com, an online magazine run by a young Latter-day Saint woman that has some good articles on how we can be modest AND fashionable. I especially liked the article, "No, Really - It's a Good Thing!"
Another great resource is the Gospel Principles section for modesty at LDS.org, including the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet that teaches about appropriate dress and appearance. (Note: You can get a free copy of this pamphlet from your local ward/stake or online from the LDS Distribution Center. Do a search for item number 36550000 and they'll ship it to you for free.)
But what else is there to help parents who struggle with teaching modesty to their children? Please share your ideas, resources, thoughts, and experiences with us in the comments, we really need your help!
Comments
My daughter is ten, and my biggest piece of advice in teaching modesty is to begin at birth… My daughter was never permitted to wear anything sleeveless or any shorts/skirts that were overly short. Our rule of thumb has always been to choose clothing that we would be comfortable with her wearing if she was a teenager. Now, at ten, she is uncomfortable wearing anything outside of those parameters and she dictates her own clothing choices. She is modest because she knows nothing different. I just hope it stays that way as she blossoms into a teenager!
I agree with the above comment, but that might be too late for your reader.
A very important factor is example. It’s a huge help if the girls see modestly dress adults. I attended one ward where adults were not dressed modestly and whined at the teen leaders who were trying to get the girls to dress modestly that there was nothing modest in the stores. Mothers, especially, should make sure that everything they own is modest and they never consider anything immodest.
Another is your opinions. Teens actually do listen to you, believe it or don’t. As you watch TV or a movie together, make comments about the people and their dress. “Wow! She ran out of material too soon!” or “Look how nice that outfit looks.”
Don’t just pick on the girls, either, guys should also be dressed modestly at all times–even when mowing the lawn or working out.
Also, don’t whine when the modest choices cost more. They aren’t always as popular (and, realistically, use more material!) so they might be more expensive. We spend several days each summer hitting the thrift shops to find modest prom dresses and other clothes for the coming year. It saves a mad search at the last minute.
Thanks Kim and Janet for your comments! I notified the site visitor about your great advice and will send on any other comments that people leave. Your ideas are great, I especially like the one about not whining when modest clothes may be more expensive.
As a young adult, i feel very strongly about this because everything that the “world” is wearing out there is not immodest. I think the fashion right now allows young girls/guys/women of the like the ability to be modest. Granted we’re moving into summer so it’s bound to be hot, but bermuda shorts are now in fashion like nothing I saw growing up. All over TV “fashion how to’s” like What Not To Wear and the such encourage skirts to or below the knee. It sounds like the advice has already been given, but i think it’s important to note the changes that have been made in society and the ways girls can layer (and how that is a popular choice) and work with things to still stay in fashion and still abide by the standards of the church.
Got to agree with “believe it or not, they do care what you say!”
I am a middle school teacher, and I see the influence that parents can have. Sure, they might whine a little bit, but from what I see most kids feel more secure when they know that you’re looking out for them and setting boundaries to make sure they get the respect they deserve.
Jessica
Owner, Sakura Rose Boutique
http://www.sakurarose.com